Mundane

So I guess I might need to clarify what I mean by “spiritual dry spell.”

It’s not a question of religion. There’s no questioning for me of my faith… no question of the salvation to be found in the Sacrifice of Christ, no question to the creation and fall, no question to miracles and spirits.

I guess the question is… how does that impact this world? Or, I guess the better question is, how had the world impacted the faith?

It frustrates me that we live in a society where we have SO MUCH scientific knowledge but so little spiritual understanding. We are unbalanced and have embraced the phyisical, corrupting the natural and ignoring the super-natural.

By super-natural, I take CS Lewis’ definition – those interactions between nature and “not nature” – spirits and souls and angels and demons and witches and satans and priests and the Heavenly Hosts.

It frustrates me because I know so well what the world says a 23-year-old male should be doing with his life. He should be seeking to procreate, seeking out women to conquest and take to his cave to ravage and control. He should be playing politics in the office, fighting tooth and nail for a raise and whatever will make him look better to his boss’s boss. He should enjoy sports and cheer for violence while tasting of sexuality.

But what if I don’t want that?

Where do I turn for the spiritual influence? I’m not a musician, so I can’t lead worship. I’m not some kind of “known name” or even have the proper seminary education to preach in a regular setting. I’m not some great linguist whose writing books on kissing dating goodbye or whatever trend is the flavor of the month. I refuse to be relevant simply to be trendy.

I want to be me and serve God in that way. I want to pray and know that things will happen with more confidance than the girl casting spells down the way. I want to follow my spirit’s yearning for companionship and not be thought of as trying to hit on a girl (or guy, for that matter).

But there are no examples. We weren’t taught in school any kind of social graces. We weren’t exposed to the possibility that there exists something beyond the five senses.

I want to be able to love back… I’m caught up in some giant love affair with God where he dies for me and He gives so much… but His love is so overwhelming and His grace so… so… wreckless that there seems nothing I can do to prove His love back.

It feels so much like those high school relationships where the other likes you more than you like them… and it tears you up because they deserve to be loved and cared for more than you know how.

So I wake up in my bed in the morning, leaving the fantasy and confusion of my dreams, to live a mundane life where miracles are believed in, but not relied upon. I experience safe decisions all day and constricting budgets to question everything we do. I don’t meet new souls because I have no idea where to meet them or even how to since I’m so caught up in my little subculture.

I feel dry. But even dry bones can dance, so says God.

God, your children… at least one, that is… are/is begging for you to stop the mundane madness and interact. Be supernatural. Not so that You’re proven. Not so that the “forces of darkness are vanquished.” No so I can brag, “look what God has done for me.”

Reach into this world so I can hug you. Cuddle with you maybe. Buy you a cup of coffee. Do you like to play video games?

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